You know, I can’t believe a whole year has gone by since my whole world broke apart.
it is still pretty painful for me- but I had to make a conscious decision to NOT dwell on the negative. Not linger in my feelings.
After everything happened I continued to work and act like nothing happened.
I was going to work, after drinking a bottle of wine every night. I wasn’t bathing, I wasn’t doing my hair, sometimes crying in between seeing clients (I work i healthcare) but I still ssoldiered through.
Then 3 months later I literally crashed. I was signed off for 3 months.
I was a mess, completely anxious and not coping.
I still kept my ex’s dads Instagram and I was stalking it every day, he would upload pics of his grandchild and it really broke me. But it was the only way I felt connected to my ex.
There is is so much to say but the main thing is I’m better. I’m living and I’m enjoying aspects of my life and socialising.
My anxiety and shame has subsided but there are still places I don’t go as they are a harsh reminder of my loss.
I’ve not cooked in my house since the relationship ended. Lots of things feel really painful.
But im better