” I have nothing nothing left to say to, unless it’s about your laptop or your money”

I cried out, please don’t drop, can I talk to you. “No I have nothing to say”. Please just let me talk, can I just ask you one thing… the phone was dropped.

Sitting in my uniform, waiting in the queue to cross the ferry on a busy Friday morning- I had never felt so lost in my life. 

2 years of love, adventure, lies, revelations, trust, apologies, building, hope were wiped out just like that. 

I had become nobody in his life, I wasn’t even afforded the last request of why? What did I do? 

I held on to all of the promises ” we will be fine, things will be ok in the end, be patient ” 

I held on to those words so hard that even when the facade started to slip, I still held out hope. You would bring me through it. You wouldn’t put me to shame, you’d do right by me. All my fears, everything I said came to pass. 

I thought showing him  I’d stand by him, would make him see it was love. 

I went to work, smiling, pretending, anxious and that day, he placed my laptop in the back of my car, no words were said. And I drove away from my love of 2 years like we were strangers .