” I have nothing nothing left to say to, unless it’s about your laptop or your money” 

I cried out, please don’t drop, can I talk to you. “No I have nothing to say”. Please just let me talk, can I just ask you one thing… the phone was dropped.

Sitting in my uniform, waiting in the queue to cross the ferry on a busy Friday morning- I had never felt so lost in my life. 

2 years of love, adventure, lies, revelations, trust, apologies, building, hope were wiped out just like that. 

I had become nobody in his life, I wasn’t even afforded the last request of why? What did I do? 

I held on to all of the promises ” we will be fine, things will be ok in the end, be patient ” 

I held on to those words so hard that even when the facade started to slip, I still held out hope. You would bring me through it. You wouldn’t put me to shame, you’d do right by me. All my fears, everything I said came to pass. 

I thought showing him  I’d stand by him, would make him see it was love. 

I went to work, smiling, pretending, anxious and that day, he placed my laptop in the back of my car, no words were said. And I drove away from my love of 2 years like we were strangers . 

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17 thoughts on “” I have nothing nothing left to say to, unless it’s about your laptop or your money” 

  1. Sounds like a very difficult moment to endure. That moment when you drive away from the person you have invested so much in. I have been there. The days to come will be difficult and lengthy, at times scary and lonely. But keep in mind one door closing opens up many others. Instead of this being an ending, just know more opportunities will arise….. good luck and I look forward to your next post!

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  2. Break up are painful to endure. I know what you are going through,what you need is time dr. Sometime after this, you will feel good for what happened and you will automatically put a shield around you, preventing from happening something like this again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment- I am willing the days to pass so I start to feel better and like I’m coping. I’m not in a great space right now. But I know I’ll bet there.

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      1. Don’t worry dr you are not alone in this turmoil, many are with you. Coping with this alone won’t take your pain away.
        I am with you, I know what you are going through.

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  3. It is this pain that will make you stronger. One day when you look back, the agony that broke you, the tears that you shed, the sleepless nights,everything will make sense..because You Deserve Better.. Move on and I promise it will be the best thing that you have ever done in your life!

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  4. I definitely feel your pain. Break ups are tough especially when you have unanswered questions. Sometimes we just want to see what that person will have to say for themselves after the event, and are disappointed when we get nowhere. Things will get better with time because time heals all wounds. Someone much better will come along, be encouraged.

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